Wednesday, March 22, 2006
it just occurred to me that i haven't written at all about my reading, even though it's the main activity of importance in my life and always has been. i've often told the story of how, in our family, the big event of childhood was getting your own library card. my mother refused to let me go a few streets away from home to visit other children but i was allowed to take the bus downtown, alone, to go to the library on saturday afternoons. and how, confronted with the enormity of the library and all of its books, i decided to start reading in alphabetical order, starting with fiction which was nearest to the entrance, and eventually read everything in the library. big plans, for a small child.
in any event, i'm currently reading "long life", the memoirs of nigel nicholson. he's th son of harold nicholson and vita sackville-west. they are the subject of, and he is the author of "portrait of a marriage". i read that book in the early seventies, shortly after publication and have been fascinated by the family since. the memoirs are sort of disjointed, almost stream of conciousness but are interesting nonetheless and an easy read.
i just finished bob dylan's "chronicles, part one". another very interesting read, in that i had previously read alot about his early career, most notably a book called "positively fourth street" about the link between him and joan baez. it's interesting to read it from his perspective, it seems so much simpler and so much less of a conspiracy to ride on her coattails to fame.
before that, i read "natural blonde" by liz smith. interesting but annoying. she describes her social life, running around with every prominent dyke of the past 50 years but skirts the issue of her own sexuality. i think she could have, finally, done better.
in any event, i'm currently reading "long life", the memoirs of nigel nicholson. he's th son of harold nicholson and vita sackville-west. they are the subject of, and he is the author of "portrait of a marriage". i read that book in the early seventies, shortly after publication and have been fascinated by the family since. the memoirs are sort of disjointed, almost stream of conciousness but are interesting nonetheless and an easy read.
i just finished bob dylan's "chronicles, part one". another very interesting read, in that i had previously read alot about his early career, most notably a book called "positively fourth street" about the link between him and joan baez. it's interesting to read it from his perspective, it seems so much simpler and so much less of a conspiracy to ride on her coattails to fame.
before that, i read "natural blonde" by liz smith. interesting but annoying. she describes her social life, running around with every prominent dyke of the past 50 years but skirts the issue of her own sexuality. i think she could have, finally, done better.
Monday, March 13, 2006
you see the link to treasure island media that i've added? treaure island is my favorite porn production company. i check their website periodically to see what's new and recently they created an official blog. one of their first offers was a free hat to anyone who responded to them, so of course i did. the hat never came. then, they offered a free t-shirt to anyone who responded. i sent them an email saying that although i really wanted the hat, i'd settle for a t-shirt. i got an email back from them, stating that they were now sending me the hat AND the t-shirt. the hat and t-shirt never came. just recently, they had a raffle. if you linked their site to your blog or webpage and sent them the link, you were eligible to win a free movie. last week, the blog announced the i was the winner. so far, the hat, the t-shirt and the movie haven't come. i've never won anything in my entire life, this is the first time. barry thinks it's hilarious that i believed it in the first, second and third place. maybe it is. but, i still won!
i got an email from an acquaintance the day before yesterday. homer is a married guy who i met through a website. he's american indian and he and his wife are both bisexual. i've been conversing with him via internet for about 3 or 4 years, we finally hooked up a few months ago. the sex was not good but we spent about 3 hours in conversation. he was a professional musician and has severe diabetes. due to the diabetes, he had a kidney transplant. during the transplant surgery, something happened and he woke up with both arms paralyzed. he filed suit against the hospital and the jury found against him, saying that he had no proof that the paralysis was the result of negligence. he's regained about 75% use of his arms but his musician days are over. in the meantime, he and his wife began having relationship problems, exacerbated by both of them having extramarital flings. eventually, she announced that she was leaving...in 3 months time. he joined a 12 step program for sex addicts, though he admitted it wasn't doing anything re: his need for gay sex.
SO....i got an email from him. they discovered a cancerous growth in his bladder, which means another operation and chemo. the chemo will mean he has to stop taking his transplant meds, which means his organs will die.
either way, he's fucked. when we last conversed, he said that he was suicidal and was trying to think of a way to die so that his wife would still be able to collect his insurance. i guess he got his wish.
now, he's not so sure that he wants to die. and his wife is being very attentive and loving. i don't know what else to say.
SO....i got an email from him. they discovered a cancerous growth in his bladder, which means another operation and chemo. the chemo will mean he has to stop taking his transplant meds, which means his organs will die.
either way, he's fucked. when we last conversed, he said that he was suicidal and was trying to think of a way to die so that his wife would still be able to collect his insurance. i guess he got his wish.
now, he's not so sure that he wants to die. and his wife is being very attentive and loving. i don't know what else to say.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
today is the anniversary of the death of robert mapplethorpe, in 1989, of aids.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
BEWARE! SENTIMENTAL CONTENT.
zoe, the little dog next door has died. she was the puppy of my dog, little brown dog. i gave her to jay and crow when they moved in next door, in the house that i grew up in. jay is a nationally known artist and crow was his fiancee' at the time. her father was a mime at the electric circus in n.y., in the sixties, so she grew up with rockstars passed out on the living room floor. she came to look at the house wearing a jacket that had belonged to jimi hendrix.
anyway, zoe was brown dog's puppy and inherited all of brown dog's best attributes. she was a gentle, sweet little animal who loved nothing better than being petted and hugged. in the last few years, her eyesight had been failing and she rarely went far from home anymore. jay said that she'd been having other physical problems and trips to the vet were traumatic experiences. he said that she'd been going outside and looking for places to hide, so he knew what was happening. he'd go outside, pick her up and bring her back indoors, trying to forestall the inevitable. finally, she just disappeared into the woods and he never found her. we've both been consoling ourselves with the thought that that was a pretty good way to die, alone in the woods that she loved so much. but it's the end of a link to my little brown dog, who i loved so much. oh, zoe, i miss you so much.
zoe, the little dog next door has died. she was the puppy of my dog, little brown dog. i gave her to jay and crow when they moved in next door, in the house that i grew up in. jay is a nationally known artist and crow was his fiancee' at the time. her father was a mime at the electric circus in n.y., in the sixties, so she grew up with rockstars passed out on the living room floor. she came to look at the house wearing a jacket that had belonged to jimi hendrix.
anyway, zoe was brown dog's puppy and inherited all of brown dog's best attributes. she was a gentle, sweet little animal who loved nothing better than being petted and hugged. in the last few years, her eyesight had been failing and she rarely went far from home anymore. jay said that she'd been having other physical problems and trips to the vet were traumatic experiences. he said that she'd been going outside and looking for places to hide, so he knew what was happening. he'd go outside, pick her up and bring her back indoors, trying to forestall the inevitable. finally, she just disappeared into the woods and he never found her. we've both been consoling ourselves with the thought that that was a pretty good way to die, alone in the woods that she loved so much. but it's the end of a link to my little brown dog, who i loved so much. oh, zoe, i miss you so much.
Friday, March 03, 2006
four days into the new job. it's alot more involved than i thought. i thought i would be asst. manager in one store, it turns out that i'm supervising 3 within the airport terminals, which means i'm usually in transit from one to the other. closings are staggered and i have six registers to shut down and balance plus some closing inventories. in addition, i have to do spot checks on each register periodically. the time flies. all of the staff, so far, are very nice, no attitude. management is cool, too, i'm almost tension free. what a difference it makes to work with people who make an effort to be pleasant. i initially freaked out when i discovered how many stores that i'd be doing and wednesday morning, they just threw me into the mix on my own and told me to open. i'm always really nervous, initially, re: balancing, so i have difficulties. but i'm feeling more relaxed and everything came out even last night when i closed and did spotchecks, so i'm feeling more confident.
i'm sitting here listening to "with the beatles", their first album, as i write this. i can still remember how different these songs sounded when you first heard them. and they still sound good. john lennon had such a great rock and roll voice and the harmonies were so fresh for pop. it's really a lift when you hear them. i've been reluctant to buy the old albums, afraid that the nostalgia would be depressing but it's just the opposite. it makes me feel like i'm in that pre-teen mindset of the time, when everything was so exciting and there were so many possibilities. maybe that's still true?
i'm sitting here listening to "with the beatles", their first album, as i write this. i can still remember how different these songs sounded when you first heard them. and they still sound good. john lennon had such a great rock and roll voice and the harmonies were so fresh for pop. it's really a lift when you hear them. i've been reluctant to buy the old albums, afraid that the nostalgia would be depressing but it's just the opposite. it makes me feel like i'm in that pre-teen mindset of the time, when everything was so exciting and there were so many possibilities. maybe that's still true?
